I got great news today..............I lost 5 lbs! I am so excited there are no words I can come up with that describes how I feel right now. I have been struggling for the last few weeks with my weight staying at 309 - so to my surprise today when I went by the doc's office to weigh in I could not believe it. I actually can see my goal at the end of the long tunnel - and now I only have 5 lbs to go to reach the goal I set for myself of being less than 300 lbs. by September. I have really been down on myself the last few weeks and I think I was focused so hard on the numbers on the scale that I forgot about believing in me. This journey has been the most emotional one I have ever had to go through - the ups and downs, the good times and bad it all comes with change and I have to realize that even though I feel like I am losing this battle that I am actually winning it. I really feel sorry for my poor Mom and trainer they just don't understand all the emotions I go through on a daily basis. Sometimes I could just sit down and cry but I have to remind myself that this is something I am doing for myself and the only person that can succeed is me! Everything I do is a choice and making the right ones is who I am - it is tough but I look forward to the day I can say "I finally made it".
Tomorrow is the day I start my training in the pool - I am kind of excited but the horror of having to show my legs is what is stuck in my head but I know that believing in me is what will get me through the day.
Another one of my favorite quotes:
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.Eleanor Roosevelt
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