Weigh In and believing in me!

I got great news today..............I lost 5 lbs! I am so excited there are no words I can come up with that describes how I feel right now. I have been struggling for the last few weeks with my weight staying at 309 - so to my surprise today when I went by the doc's office to weigh in I could not believe it. I actually can see my goal at the end of the long tunnel - and now I only have 5 lbs to go to reach the goal I set for myself of being less than 300 lbs. by September. I have really been down on myself the last few weeks and I think I was focused so hard on the numbers on the scale that I forgot about believing in me. This journey has been the most emotional one I have ever had to go through - the ups and downs, the good times and bad it all comes with change and I have to realize that even though I feel like I am losing this battle that I am actually winning it. I really feel sorry for my poor Mom and trainer they just don't understand all the emotions I go through on a daily basis. Sometimes I could just sit down and cry but I have to remind myself that this is something I am doing for myself and the only person that can succeed is me! Everything I do is a choice and making the right ones is who I am - it is tough but I look forward to the day I can say "I finally made it".

Tomorrow is the day I start my training in the pool - I am kind of excited but the horror of having to show my legs is what is stuck in my head but I know that believing in me is what will get me through the day.

Another one of my favorite quotes:

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.Eleanor Roosevelt

Excuses and I am going to give it a try!

Ok, I have so many excuses for not following through with my weekend - I did not go rock climbing and I also did not work out on Saturday. Attached is a picture of the shirt I got at Peak Experience a couple of weeks ago with excuses for not going -

"I'm too short, I'm to old, I'm way to tired, I'm sore, I'm hungry", and many more.

But the good news is I found something to swim in (also got new shoes - per doc) and starting this week Donna (my trainer) and I are going to hit the pool. She is excited but I am still not sure. Let's face it I am the one that has to do this and I am the one that has to change and I am the one that has to get in the pool - with all that said I am going to put on my big girl pants and do it. Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words so many of you showed me that I can get over my fear and look toward my goal - it means so much to me that you all care. Keep it coming I am going to need it. I will try and have some photos for ya but I am not sure yet we will see. I will keep you updated thanks again!

Thank you for all the encouragement and wisdom!

Just a quick thank you to all of you about my fear of working out in the pool - I am working on getting my courage up so I can step into the pool and take charge and not let anything or anyone stop me. Thanks for all of your support and suggestions my goal this weekend is to find the perfect swimming outfit and make it work!

Small note: I am also going rock climbing again this weekend I will post new photos for all to see.

One of my favorites quotes:

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
by: Dorothy Thompson:

Good news...but something scary......

Went to the sports med doctor today and all looks good but it seems I have a muscle strain and my muscles are also very tight - so he suggested that I am over doing it on my training and I need to work on getting new shoes, cross training, foot and ankle exercises to be done before working out and most importantly working out in the pool. Well, my trainer will be happy she has been trying to convince me to work out in the pool for some time now but I am so reluctant due to the fact I do not like bathing suits. At 300 lbs I really don't like the idea of looking like a whale and the thought of working out in front of all the people at the gym at the hour I go is not something I am looking forward to doing. I have not worn a bathing suit since my son was 9 months old (that is the picture on this page) - I know all of this is in my head and if I just could get my head to listen to reason and learn that this is good for me I would be better off (better said than done). My Doctor said it will be a better cardio work (as did my trainer) out and I will lose more weight (and I am all for that) and I also need to really give it a try. So Donna (my trainer) I guess you WIN! I just have to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin and not focus too much on everybody else around me and just be myself. Ok ok I know I am a 41 year old women and this should not be a big deal right - I feel like such a little kid – I need help ladies any advise? What do you wear to the pool?

To Tofu or not...................

I have been trying out some new foods this week and one of them is Tofu. My expectations for it were not that high. Everyone I know says how you can eat that, it taste terrible. Well I decided to give it a try because I am stuck on 309 lbs and I need to loss 10 lbs to be under 300 by the 19th of August (my next weigh in at the Doc's office). One of my friends suggested using it in spaghetti - well she did not have to ask me twice (because most of you know spaghetti is my favorite food of all time) so I bought some whole wheat spaghetti and some tofu and proceeded to figure out how to make it taste good. Let's just say it was nothing like I thought it would be - It has no taste at all. I had this horrible image made up already of something that was so foreign to me. I have been reading up on Tofu and here is a brief description of where it came from:

Tofu, also Tōfu (豆腐, Tōfu?) (the Japanese Romaji spelling), doufu (the Chinese Pinyin spelling often used in Chinese recipes) or bean curd (the literal translation), is a food of Chinese origin,[1] made by coagulating soy milk, and then pressing the resulting curds into blocks. There are many different varieties of tofu, including fresh tofu and tofu that has been processed in some way. Tofu has very little flavor or smell on its own, so it can be used either in savory or sweet dishes, and is often seasoned or marinated to suit the dish.The production of tofu from soy milk is similar to the production of cheese from milk, although some tofu is made by processing non-soy products, such as almonds or black beans. The byproduct of the process is soy pulp (also called okara in Japanese).Tofu originated in ancient China,[1] but little else is known about the origins of tofu and its method of production. Tofu and its production technique were subsequently introduced into Korea, then Japan during the Nara period (late eighth century). It also spread into other parts of East Asia as well. This spread likely coincided with the spread of Buddhism as it is an important source of proteins in the religion's vegetarian diet.[2]Tofu is low in calories, contains beneficial amounts of iron (especially important for women of child-bearing age) and has no saturated fat or cholesterol. Depending on the coagulant used in manufacturing, the tofu may also be high in calcium (important for bone development and maintenance), and magnesium (especially important for athletes). Tofu also contains soy isoflavones, which can mimic natural human estrogens and may have a variety of harmful or beneficial effects when eaten in sufficient quantities.

There are different varieties of it you can get noodles, hot dogs, cheese and I even saw something that looked like sausage so if you are willing to try something new and want to increase your protein/iron or just to have lower calories I suggest giving it a try. I will do anything at this point to help with losing the weight any suggestions? I am going to find new ways to cook with it and I will share them with you guys when I do. Do you have any recipes for Tofu? Please share.

Out with old.....but it fits!

This weekend I went through my closet to see if any of my "old" clothes would fit. Since it has been 3 months since I started exercising and losing some body fat I thought it would be a good idea. I went into this not expecting too much to come out of it but I was surprised to see that one of my favorite shirts FITS (pic attached)!

Yeah, after my terrible trip 2 weeks ago looking for shirts this was such a relief for me. I continued to plunder through my boxes and I came out with about 4 shirts that I could not wear before that I can now add back into my closet. I did try on some old jeans and some pants I like but they are not quite there yet. I have to say this is a great sign for me and it really boosted my confidence. I cannot wait until I can fit into that size 8 pair of jeans I have my eye on. With hard work and my will to get it done I know it will happen.

I hope you guys enjoyed the rock climbing pics I am going to add some new ones next week (this will be a monthly update since I am determined to make it to the top). And yes to everyone who cannot believe it was really me in the pics it is!!! Just for future reference my next goal to tackle is white water river rafting...it sounds too good to pass up!


Thanks guys for keeping up with me...............

1 down and 1,000 to go............

Many of you might not know that I am TERRIFIED of heights and when I set out on my new journey I made a list of things I would love to accomplish and one of them is to get over my fear of them. Today I challenged myself to do just that, I went to the Peak Experiences - they are an indoor rock climbing center (website is http://www.peakexperiences.com/). I was so nervous but ready to give it a try and face the thing that has me terrified beyond belief. I took my Mom (fyi who is 62) she was so ready and she really did surprise me more than I think she knows. I actually made it off the ground - Jeff (our instructor) was kind enough to be so patient with me and then he guided us through the do's and don'ts and what to expect vs what not, he then tightened us in our harnesses then proceeded to lead us to one of the walls. I went first since it was my idea and I have to say I even did better than I thought I would until I looked down (yeah I know a no no) that is when I had to let go (which left me hanging in the air - oh my) - all in all it was a great experience and a great workout (my arms are hurting so bad but in a good way). I am planning on going back in 2 weeks and giving it a try again my goal is to make it to the very top (which is farther than I can ever imagine making it to right now). I encourage all of you to try something that you never thought you could do. I am surprising myself each week with things I NEVER thought I could do - and I know you can to - just get up and try it I know you can think of one thing that you have always wanted to do but never thought possible (believe me I can think of many). I really could just make excuses and sit on the couch and just not do anything or even live life but as I always say, I give myself permission to live the life I choose...........get up and just do it!

Jeff the instructor
The Fearless 2!

I have posted some pics of the experience to share with you guys.......have fun choosing your goal and leave me a post I would love to hear about what you challenged yourself to do.