Last night I went out with some friends and we had dinner. Most of the people I am around are very supportive of my meal choices when we go out but last night I meet some new people (friends of friends). Dinner was going well until it came time for me to order (salad and fish) and one of the "ladies" in the group said why don't you get some real food? What? One of my friends explained that I am on a healthy lifestyle change and that I have lost 50 lbs etc. (and yes I am the only overweight person in my group of friends). Well that is when it started....this person went on to say well if you cannot enjoy yourself why bother? Now this is a person who might weigh 120 lbs and can eat and drink anything they want...so I was kind of taken aback by their words and not sure what to say.
As dinner progressed she was making comments about how wonderful her steak was and how great her potatoes were etc...and looking in my direction. Ok I can take a lot of stuff but being rude, for no reason except to be mean - is not acceptable to me. I really feel sorry for my friend she had to defend me and that is not what this journey is for. I started my life change for ME not anyone else! What I chose to eat or not eat is up to ME and no one else! So to anyone who just does not get it - get a life!
After the meal was over and everyone was leaving my friend came over to apologize about what had happened and I reassured her that she was not to blame and really no one is - this person obviously does not care about others and what they do or how they feel she is into herself and could care less what other people do.
I learned a lot at this dinner even though I know that other people’s opinion should not matter it really does hurt when someone says things to you without knowing the reason. I try and not be judgmental - who am I to judge you and what other people chose to do is their business and many should be commended on what they achieve (no matter how little or small it is). Life is to short and precious to hold these negative feelings - I think this falls under my self-esteem issues I know it should not matter what other people think or say but somehow it does.
Have any of you had this reaction before (from someone you hardly know) and how did you handle it?
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