Happy Monday everyone - This is a short week for me because I am going out of town (to see my Son) so I am dedicated to starting this week off right. Tonight is Zumba and I am actually thinking of going to bodypump (oh how I have missed you) but I am usually so sore afterwards I am kind of scared but I am so ready to jump back into my routines and get out of this mood I am in.
Since finding out I cannot participate in the Marathon I have been in a rut and I totally know it is my fault and I keep saying I need to get back on that horse and get back into the groove but something in me keeps me from doing that. I think I am letting my insecurities get back into my head and that is not a good thing.
For many years I had a lot of them and over the last 9 months I have been doing so much better but in the last few weeks I have noticed I have fallen back into some of the things I used to do. I do not have a high opinion of myself (not at all) when people give me compliments, as I have stated before, I just don't see it. Yes I have lost 50 lbs yes I am looking better but..........there is still that feeling that I can do so much more. Unfortunately we live in a society that does not like you for you they only see the outside and don't bother to get to know the person inside and that is what I am struggling with right now. I hate when people judge you because of your weight - I try and laugh it off and say they are losing out and I am just fine the way I am but in the end that feeling of doubt creeps back in and there I am again in the same spot I was in 9 months ago. This week I have set my goal to get back on track and put those feelings behind me and know that I am worthy of all of this and just because I am overweight right now it does not make me a second class citizen!
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