Monday, February 16, 2009

Short Week but on track

Happy Monday everyone - This is a short week for me because I am going out of town (to see my Son) so I am dedicated to starting this week off right. Tonight is Zumba and I am actually thinking of going to bodypump (oh how I have missed you) but I am usually so sore afterwards I am kind of scared but I am so ready to jump back into my routines and get out of this mood I am in.

Since finding out I cannot participate in the Marathon I have been in a rut and I totally know it is my fault and I keep saying I need to get back on that horse and get back into the groove but something in me keeps me from doing that. I think I am letting my insecurities get back into my head and that is not a good thing.

For many years I had a lot of them and over the last 9 months I have been doing so much better but in the last few weeks I have noticed I have fallen back into some of the things I used to do. I do not have a high opinion of myself (not at all) when people give me compliments, as I have stated before, I just don't see it. Yes I have lost 50 lbs yes I am looking better but..........there is still that feeling that I can do so much more. Unfortunately we live in a society that does not like you for you they only see the outside and don't bother to get to know the person inside and that is what I am struggling with right now. I hate when people judge you because of your weight - I try and laugh it off and say they are losing out and I am just fine the way I am but in the end that feeling of doubt creeps back in and there I am again in the same spot I was in 9 months ago. This week I have set my goal to get back on track and put those feelings behind me and know that I am worthy of all of this and just because I am overweight right now it does not make me a second class citizen!


Anonymous said...

I'm getting back on track this week too!

Lynn said...

I remember once someone "yelling" at me after making a post on a weight loss site. The basic post I was going through was how I was the fattest person everywhere that I every group that I was a part of...etc.

This wise woman (who had lost about 200 pounds) told me (and I still struggle to believe it all the time) that my weight does NOT define who I am as a person. It does not make you less of a person...that I needed to stop thinking of myself as the "fat one" and think of myself as a person.

Her comments made a lasting impression on me. She was right and I am working on remembering that!

Martine said...

I try to tell myself I am more than a body but unfortunately society judges us by our size. This is something I am trying to work on. Martine x

Anonymous said...

T. you must not let these thoughts seep back in again. You are stronger now, and your health demands that you get back on the horse and GO! You are in a little slump right now, but look at going to see K. as a time to laugh and enjoy the success you have accomplished so far. 50lbs Girl that is tremendous! Don't give it up, stay focused. You are a beautiful person inside and out, and your friends and family know you. Put your big girl panties on and seize the day. You can do it,
I have faith in you. Love Ya,

Anonymous said...

hey Tam. I know how ya feel, but everyone is right, forget them. You know what a good person you are and it IS their loss not to get to know you. Someone yelled at Wendy last summer because she was wearing pants and a sweatshirt in July, but she had just come from a very cold building. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.

Personally Don is dropping weight and I am stalled out 5 lbs heavier than I was before Christmas. I will NEVER get into bikini shape by May and our trip to Hawaii now!!! (that's a joke, folks...) but I don't care, ok I do care, but i am doing everything possible to lose weight and retain my sanity. we are even going biking every night.

So hang in there, I know it's hard, but you have come too far to quit now! GO MARAH!!

Say hi to the K Man for me :)

Love you, miss you :) Barbs