My new secret to life.....I finally found it!!!!!!

After all these years I think I have finally figured out the secret of life....doing things that you don't want to do. That's it so simple. Since starting this blog I have learned so much about myself. I really do want to do better but getting there and doing it is so hard. I am so sore today from my work out last night that I do NOT want to exercise today. But I will do it because I know I can. Life is about learning and making choices and sticking to them.

One of my favorite shows is Workout on BRAVO with Jackie Warner she is so tuff on her skylabers but that it what they need she tells them the truth (lord knows that is what I need). I loved what she said the other night to one of them:

Jackie: Medical problems, disease, sadness, depression, all of that - which this whole group has - can be cured. You break down, and then you say: "No. I'm not going to stop. I'm gonna get to that finish line." And when you do, the powerful feeling takes over you and then you start feeling like you can overcome anything. And I don't mean just in workouts - in life.

God I love HER!!! She hits it right on the head. I wish I could afford her as my trainer.

Over the next few days I am going to be updating my blog with new pictures of my work outs so it will be filled with some of the things that my trainer has me do and I will try and explain them as best I can. I hope these will help many of you on your journey. Just remember no WHINING (I seem to do that some myself ha). Just get up and go and you will appreciate yourself later - and overcome anything! Keep your post coming they inspire me everyday.

I LIVE IN DENIAL...I CAN MOVE AHEAD NOW!!!

I live in DENIAL!!!!! I am considered morbidly obese by most people, but how do I view myself? I really don't think about it much. I realize I am no size 2 but I really do not see myself as the 322 lb person I have become not until last year and decided to better my lifestyle and it hit me that I had gained all the weight over the years and I finally said enough is enough. The first time it really hit me was when I was shopping one day and I saw this reflection in a store window and I thought boy that woman is HUGE and I had to look back and said wait a minute and realized it was ME!!!! What an eye opener for me. Starting this journey has been the easiest and hardest decision of my life but it will have its rewards I just need to stay focused and strong and keep the goal and know that my future is bright and will be rewarded in the end. I have a great support system and my trainer is so supportive I could not ask for more. Thanks to everyone for posting you all are great inspirations for me (keep them coming). I will keep struggling and denial is a part of that I can move forward and nothing in life is simple but self worth is the best reward you can give yourself!!!! I can move ahead now knowing I can embrace my denial......

HOW COULD THEY!!!!!

I was on blogher this morning and I found this blog by one of my favorite blogher bloggers Catherine Morgan.....take a look ........http://www.blogher.com/there-anyone-who-thinks-its-ok-blame-global-warming-fat-people.......These are my thoughts on this subject......:

With all the things that are wrong in the world this is all they can come up with to report in the news? As an obese person who is trying to better her life with a healthier lifestyle I am taking a HUGE offence to this article. Obesity has nothing to due with global warming. It is a condition (if that is what you want to call it) that people battle with everyday and it is personal and is no way shape or form anyone else’s business. As I am writing this, tears are flowing down my face for all the people this affects (me included). We already get blamed for so much and this only makes it worse and I think a lot of people forget we are people with feelings and that we deserve respect and not to be exploited just for a story shame on them!!!!

Mara

Will anyone actually notice the difference?????

For the last few days I have been thinking about what it will be like once I have started losing a lot of the weight and looking different. Will anyone actually notice the difference in my appearance? What will they say? How will they react? Will I still feel the same about my body as I do now or will I still feel like the same fat person I am today? These are all really good questions. I feel it will take a lot of adjustments on my part as well as others around me. Come on I have been fat for so long I cannot believe that over night everyone is going to go WOW look at her!!!!! The change will be slow but over time I bet the way people treat me will be more positive as well as the way I see myself will change along the way to a positive one. I am a little afraid of what is to come but I cannot remember a time that I was not over weight and not happy with who I was and what all of that means so to be on the journey to a healthy lifestyle and try to make a difference in my life for myself is a challenge I know it is worth it in the long run and nothing else should matter. But we all want to be accepted and be noticed by others that is what life is about. Will I really care what anyone says? What I think really is the only opinion I should care about right??? I know I am the same person on the inside that I have always been and that I will be true to myself no matter what and that I can win this battle and make a difference for myself and I will be a role model to the one person who needs it.....me!

Let's talk diet....

Well, a lot people ask me about my diet. I don't really follow one specific diet plan but if I had to choose one it would be Weight Watchers. I just like how they have the plan mapped out for you and how easy it really is. My good friend Cindy follows their plan and comes up with so many wonderful meals that she shares with me and I appreciate it so much. The main goal is just to stay satisfied. My doctor told me to have 6 meals a day but that does not mean having 6 full meals that just means having breakfast then a snack (about 2 to 3 hours later) a good full lunch a snack (about 2 to 3 hours later) a good light dinner (I do not eat later than 7 pm) then a snack before bed (about 1 hour before bed) and then you have no excuse for being hungry at night when you are sleeping and you are also keeping your metabolism up which is the point of the whole diet. Just do what feels right for you. I have found since I have changed my diet that I feel so much better and I don't want all those things I used to love to eat. That does not mean that I don't still want pizza and burgers I just chose not to eat them.

Changing my lifestyle is the biggest challenge I have had to face in my life and I feel that in time it will be the greatest accomplishment I can do for myself. Look to your future not today see yourself in 6 months a year and you can make your dreams come true I have faith in you have faith and courage in yourself. Now if I could just get chocolate out of my diet I would be 100% ok....ha.....

All eyes on you....

Ever get the feeling that all eyes are on you? Well at they gym I usually don't really pay much attention to anyone else because I am to focused on what I am doing but today I noticed I was being watched by this strange man. It kept going on for about 15 mins. and it really made me very uncomfortable. I still have no idea what he wanted or what was up. I just finished up my warm up before my work out with Donna and hurried down those 24 steps. Has anything like this every happened to you?

My first set back...

Well I have my first set back. My left knee has been bothering me for a couple of days and today when I went to work out with my trainer Donna it was hurting some and continued while we where training. I am hoping over the next few days it will work itself out and I will be able to continue with my regular routine. I am on such a great high right now I hate to think I might not be able to continue with the training.

On a good note I went out with a group of friends tonight for one of our gang’s bdays and they were all like you can cheat tonight Mara it will be ok and I said no you guys I have been so good on my routine that breaking it would be defeating the goal. So I achieved it again tonight and I am so proud of myself. And also this is first time EVER that I have not had chocolate all day!!! Chocolate is the one thing that I have been having trouble with breaking with. So another accomplishment. I think that chocolate will somehow creep back into me life tomorrow but I am so proud today......give the girl a post everyone I am lonely......thanks for your support.

I wanted to cheat today...

I have another confession to make I wanted to cheat today when I went out to lunch with one of my friends from work who took me out for my birthday that was last week and we went to Olive Garden. I LOVE that place and as most of you know I have a weakness for spaghetti. Well I was looking over the menu trying to be good and just when I thought I would have to break my record of goodness I found an item that was just right for me. It was this wonderful apricot chicken with asparagus, broccoli, and tomato’s mmmmmmmmmmmm.....it was so yummy and just right for my diet. I felt so full after eating that meal that I was right on track for the day. I also went for my daily workout after work and I feel really good about it today and not much to report. Work was very stressful and working out helped to clear that up for me. I hope you all had a great day and give the girl a post I am lonely here......

Negative thinking...

I admit it I was so not into working out tonight. I had a headache before I even got to the gym and when I climbed those 24 steps to get to the tread mill I was already tired and ready to go home. But I got on the machine put in my time and weight and just started walking. I have to admit I did start feeling better after 15 mins. so it was well worth it. I usually work out with my trainer on Tuesday and Thursday but last week was her birthday on Thursday so we rescheduled for tonight. So I went in ready to work out but still had a negative attitude. Donna is so great she just takes it in stride and keeps me so motivated. I started out with push ups (on the wall) then jumping jacks on the ball then I took a lap then moved on to some other work outs then we did some cardio for the last 30 mins. I have to say even though I really did not want to work out today I am glad I did because I feel I have really accomplish something. And as determined as I am to lead a better life style this really makes me feel good about myself.

I truly believe losing the weight is the best decision I ever made and know that what lies ahead for my future will be a great one.

I would love to hear from you guys please send me a post......

And it begins...........

I have been on my weight loss attempt for about 2 weeks now and I am going to try and list some of my accomplishments to date and my goals I have set for the future.

Starting Weight: 322
Goal Weight: 130
Weight to Loss: 192
Weight to Loss each week: 2lbs
Time to loss weight: appox. 1 1/2 yrs

well, my story is probably not unlike many of yours. I have been over weight for about 20 years and in the last few years I have really noticed the toll that it has taken on my body and my everyday life.

I started gaining weight after I gave birth to my son in 1987. It was about 6 months after his birth and I was busy with working going to college (you know life!). I really did not pay much attention to myself or my needs I was just running around in circles trying to stay above water with this screaming person on my hip. My greatest joy in life is my son and I would not trade that for anything but I would have really taken a good hard look at myself back then and tried to not be where I am now.

One of the many reasons for losing weight is that trying to find some nice clothing for overweight women is near to impossible. Have you seen what they put out there!!! Trying to find the right fit and look is like looking for a needle in a hay stack and the selection is minimal at best. I finally gave up and just wear black nylon (that’s right ladies) elastic pants (I own 7 pair) so I don't have to worry about it any more. I am known as the lady in black at work and it really upsets me that I cannot find anything that I feel really good in. I also do not like my arms. Come on who wants to see an overweight person with flabby arms wearing a sleeveless shirt having the fat swing in the air? I know I don't. I just really would like to look into the mirror and say you know what I like me.

I also find that being overweight makes me so self conscious. I notice that when I am walking somewhere I look down a lot I do not make eye contact with people just so I don't have to see them looking at me. Because lets be honest most people find fat people disgusting and are not afraid to let you know it to your face. I have never really been very active (not since my teens) and just worked a lot and came home and sat on the couch and then went to bed. I never got up and moved around so the weight just kept coming on and on. And I never really worried what people thought of me or my weight so I never really thought of changing my lifestyle. But when my life changed last year I began to think outside of the box and said this year my life was worth the change. I am worth it!!!

Changing my lifestyle will put me in the healthy lifestyle that I need to achieve the goals I have set for myself. Wanting it and doing it are two different things and you really have to want it to make it happen. I know it will be a great struggle and hard work but I am determined to change my life and make it a great one. I joined a gym a couple of weeks ago and also hired a personal trainer, Donna (she is great). I find that having someone help me is a good way for me to stay focused. I highly recommend it to anyone thinking of doing it. But you need to decide what will work for you don't give up you can accomplish your goal.

I hope you will join me on my journey and will join me on my blog helping me to stay focused and to share your stories with me (all comments are welcome). In the next couple of weeks I hope to add many things to my blog so we can all communicate more actively. I am not a writer just a person who has a story and any suggestions are welcome and don't be embarrassed your story is my story......you are welcome here.