Open Eyes!

The last few days have been working on my PT program and getting my ankle back on track. As of today the pain is about 80% (since it has been about 100% that is pretty good). Between my exercises and the patch I think I have come across what might work for me. Last night I bumped into one of the Managers of the gym I go to after we said hello he proceeded to ask me where I have been - now most of you know I usually go to the gym everyday and since training for the Marathon it has been a lot of time and sweat. After I laughed and proceeded to tell him about my ankle he let me know that I need to get back in the gym and do some pool exercises lol! I let him know I actually had printed out the schedule for February and found some interesting things I would like to do and that means I will be getting reacquainted with my gym next week. It felt really nice to see someone who really noticed me not being at the gym - I never really thought anyone would care but it just goes to show just when you think know one is around they are watching you!

Today I am off to work on some "house" errands have lunch with a Friend and get ready for the Super Bowl tomorrow - I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your kind words these last few weeks I appreciate the support (it was much needed) and for letting me know this goal might pass but that there are so many more for me to accomplish in the coming months!

Good News/Bad News?

Yesterday afternoon was my PT appointment and I went in with a lot of hope. I learned that my injury will take a while to heal and I probably will not be able to walk the half marathon in March. I am extremely upset about that but in the end my health is what matters.

The PT therapist checked out my ankle she had me do a lot of different exercises, measured my feet etc. She did tell me that I can do all kinds of exercising in the pool (yeah) but I really should not do Zumba, continuous walking etc. She also suggested Yoga and more Pilates which I like so that will work for me and that I need to look into getting some newer walking shoes. I was really taken aback by most of what she said but it did make a lot of sense. Many people tell me "you don't listen" I really do they just think I don't. I am very stubborn and when I want something I go after it but I have to let my body heal before I do more damage.

This is a huge disappointment for me but I know in the end I will be much better off. My PT is for 6 weeks so keep your fingers crossed everyone and hope for a miracle - I am!

Weigh In!

Today I headed to the Doctor's office with not much hope for losing any weight over the last 2 weeks (eating habits, cold etc) but to my surprise I am back down to the 273 lbs I was a couple of weeks ago............thank goodness without really trying I lost 5 lbs. I feel a little better but after this week I am going to get right back up and get back on my goal. Happy Day for me!

New hope and Cold!

Since Sunday night I have been fighting a cold...I don't know about you guys but I hate that! Today I am starting to feel a little better and hopefully 100% by this weekend.

Since being sick I have not been to the gym or walked since Sunday. But today I do have new hope I start my PT and I am hoping to get some more relief for ankle starting today. The patches seem to help some but I still need to be able to walk without any pain. I will keep you guys posted on how PT goes and I don't think I will be going to the gym for the rest of the week (I need to rest and get over this cold first and not over do it).


"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope"
Winston Churchill

Hoping for more!

I started off my weekend really well I was able to walk 3 miles at the gym without that much pain and then was hoping on Sunday to be able to finally accomplish the 10 miles I so desperately want too.

The weather here has been really cold and on Sunday it was only in the 30's for the high with that and my ankle acting up that morning it was not going to be a good day. I started off ok but by mile 3 it was down for the count. I was able to make it around for a total of 5 miles which was ok but I so wanted to strive for more.

My only relief is I start PT on Wednesday and I am hoping that it will help me be able to stretch it out and get it back at least to 90%. I have started the patches the doc gave me and yesterday I did get a headache from them so I am really watching how they affect me and hopefully they will start helping with the pain.

Hope everyone had a great weekend and remember don't give up life is too short to think we cannot accomplish anything!

Gotta Love Lynn!

After I wrote my post about my funk I headed over to Lynn at "Lynn's Weigh - The Journey Continues",http://lynnsweigh.blogspot.com/ and she has a wonderful post about "Think Happy Thoughts!" (as many of you know she is the reason I started on this journey she is my inspiration) so please stop by and see why I love Lynn!.

Funk...and positive thinking!

The last few days I have been in such a funk (as I have stated before I can get really depressed sometimes about my training) so I am working on positive thinking today! My ankle has really been a pain in my *ss for the last few weeks and I have let it affect me (along with some other personal problems) and I am trying to keep the positive vibe going. Some people don't get why people like me are so negative! Sometimes we have those days where no matter what we do we just cannot seem to get ahead (life, gym etc). I happen to be one of those people that let it bother me and it seems to be hard to shake it. I have some friends who get really upset with me and just don't get it. I guess a lot of it comes from self doubt and not really sure if I can do something. Along this journey I have surprised myself more than once but I always find a way to let that self doubt back in. I do understand when my friends get mad but I also expect them to support me even if they don't get it - but it seems they just get mad and give up on me (which is really not the right thing to do). I am a really great friend even if I don't agree with what they are going through or don't even get it I try and be supportive and not judge.

So my goal this weekend is to reevaluate myself and dig deep for the positive outlook I have on things and not let it get me down. I hope you all never have any doubts and that you all have a great support system in place that will not let you down. To my many friends who do support me through it all (you know who you are) THANKS and even if it seems I don't HEAR ya I really do never doubt that!

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton

Good news for me!

Went to the Doc yesterday for my ankle and he gave me some good news - no cortisone shot! Wow thank good ness I had worked myself into a nervous fit before I got there so it was nice relief when he said we could try other treatments. I am going to be using nitroglycerin patch (yeah I know they use that on your heart right?) which he tells me I place on the sore spot of my ankle and it will help to take away the pain (yes) and I also have to go to PT for 6 weeks. Which I am kind of relieved they can help me stretch it out more and also teach me other ways to keep this sort of thing from happening.

But the bottom line is I have tendonitis (very common for walkers and runners) which makes my ankle very tight so that is were all the friction is coming from therefore the pain is the problem. I did ask him if I could continue to take my classes at the gym and also train for the marathon. He said it is 100% ok to keep doing what I have been and not to stress so much about it that we can beat this and everything will be ok (he must of have known I needed to hear those words).

I am just relieved that hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to get on track (8 weeks to go for Marathon coming quick) and not have any other problems.

Last night was good went to Zumba and Pilates (Doc said take more classes good for ankle who knew) and my arms are so sore I never knew Pilates could do that what a surprise. I am hopefully going to attempt to walk my 10 miles on Sunday (at the park) then work on walking on the track at the gym (hard surface just like the marathon will be).

Arms up, Kick, Breathe.....

What a great time had by all last night - I highly recommend KickBoxing to anyone who wants a new challenge. The class starts off with jump rope yep the jump roping we did as a kid would really come in handy here (you do 3 sets of 3 mins of continuous jumping wow) but with my ankle I was only able to do a little bit of it (the instructor said as long as I kept my legs moving that was fine). The next step are some drills (running from one side of the room to the other for 3 mins, then you run again but then drop and do one push up for 3 mins, and then you go back and squat). In all the first 15 mins lets you know that you are in for a fun ride in this class.

After we finished up the drills we were all put into groups (1st and 2nd timers and experienced) of course I was in the 1st timers (about 9 of us) which is good for me since I have not done anything like this in months. We started off by learning the correct standing stance (left foot 12 o'clock and right foot at 5) and then proceeded to learn the art of punching and kicking. I was really nervous (because of my ankle and my weight I cannot always do what everyone else can) but I think I did a better job than I thought I would. I felt really good afterwards and I am ready to give a try again. Dee was ok with the class she said she hated me when we first started (lol) but in the end she was like yeah we could do this!

Today I feel a little sore but in all really good - but of course my ankle is bothering me so off to the Doc I go today (keep your fingers crossed I get some relief I know I am). I will let you guys know what he says and how I can proceed with my training.

Have any of you tried anything new this year in your exercise program?

Kickboxing

Tonight Dee and I are going to try out Kickboxing. The gym we go to does not offer this class but one of the other locations (about 30 mins away) does so we are both ready to try this great class. I have wanted to do this since I started on this journey so I am so excited! Listed below is a brief description of what the class is about:

Americanized KickBoxing

Jab, punch, kick, slip, duck & jump your way to fitness! This fun, yet challenging class incorporates various martial arts, boxing, kickboxing and endurance training techniques. This is not a "Cardio/Aerobic" style Boxing class. You will train with "Drills" the way real Kickboxers do! All fitness levels.




My ankle is so so today but I am going to take it easy at the class and hope when I go to the doc tomorrow it will be full of relief. Last night was easy I went swimming for 30 mins then sat in the hot tub for about 15 (helped the ankle some).

I will give you guys the low down on the kickboxing class tomorrow and let ya know how it went (ups and downs).

Limitations

Today is full of limitations. My ankle has really put me in such a rut. At work I have a few steps I have to climb to get to my desk and this morning it did not go well. I keep feeling the pain no matter what I do so I made a HUGE decision today I have to have a cortisone shot (below is a brief description):

Cortisone shots are injections that may help relieve pain and inflammation in a specific area of your body. Cortisone shots are most commonly given in joints, such as your ankle, elbow, hip, knee, shoulder, spine and wrist, as well as the small joints in the hands and feet. Joint injections are commonly referred to as cortisone shots, but what medication or combination of medications is injected varies. Cortisone shots typically include a corticosteroid medication and a local anesthetic. Cortisone shots are typically given in a doctor's office. The results you can expect from cortisone shots depend on the reason for your treatment.

I have had these before and they hurt like He**! But I am at the end of my rope for relief and just need something to help me on my way. I feel as if I will not be able to accomplish my goal of finishing the marathon in March. I was telling my Mom yesterday I just don't feel as if I can do it. But I am going to try and that in itself is all I can do and hope for. I will keep you guys posted but let this be a lesson for everyone you can only do what you can and remember to listen to you body it will tell you what you can and cannot do.

Many miles to go!

Yesterday was the day for my 10 mile walk. Dee and I went to the gym that has an inside track because of the weather it was just to cold to try and accomplish it outside so off we went! I was so ready and pumped to get going. The track is like the type of road we will be walking on in March and boy was I in for a surprise. I started off really well (you have to go around 60 times to make 10 miles WOW) I was doing really well until mile 5 and that ugly ankle was starting to hurt and would not let up! I held my head high and continued on. I was so determined to make the 10 miles but this type of track was really hard. My legs began to hurt my thighs felt as if they were on fire etc.....So by mile 7 my ankle just gave out (bummer). I am really glad I tried the track but it just lets me know that I have to work harder and I really need to strive for more.

Today I feel as if someone has run me over. I am icing my ankle and stretching it out as much as I can and hoping by tomorrow that I will be ready for anything. Next week I am going to give the track another try and hopefully be able to say that 10 miles have come and gone.

Pilates

Last night Dee and I went to Zumba and immediately afterwards we joined the Pilates class that was at 7 pm. I was a little nervous but ready to try something new:

What Is Pilates?
Pilates is a body conditioning routine that seeks to build flexibility, strength, endurance, and coordination without adding muscle bulk. In addition, pilates increases circulation and helps to sculpt the body and strengthen the body's "core" or "powerhouse" (torso). People who do pilates regularly feel they have better posture, are less prone to injury, and experience better overall health.



I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it and what I learned about myself in the process. It is a lot harder than people think - you really have to focus on your breathing and whatever part of the exercise you are doing at the time it is really a lot of concentrating and stretching which are two things I need to focus on. Since my ankle has been bothering me I thought this might be a good chance to stretch it out. And I have to say it really did make it feel a lot better. If you are looking for a class that will help you focus or just want to try something new I suggest you check it out for yourself.

Weigh In - Sad :(

Well today is a bad day for me - I have been putting off going to weigh because I knew what it was going to say. I gained 5 lbs. I knew all of the bad eating I have been doing over the past few weeks was going to catch up with me! This is a good lesson for me to learn - I have been getting back into having chocolate everyday all day and also just eating small snacks (not good ones) thinking awww it want matter - well it does. I am very sad - I know better I know this is not what I want I know I can strive for so much more.

I will keep my head up and just get back on that horse and keep going until I lose this 5 lbs and more. Zumba HERE I COME!

Bodyjam!

Last night Dee and I tried a new class - Bodyjam! I was a little nervous going in(as I usually am when I start something new) but I LOVED it! Below is a brief description about the class:

BODYJAM™ is a 55 minute workout set to the latest music and greatest dance moves. It’s cardio fun at it’s best for those with a passion for movement. You will be burn calories, increase your fitness levels – and learn to dance better.


BODYJAM™ Benefits
BODYJAM™ gives you all the benefits of cardiovascular exercise, including burning lots of calories. When the class kicks into performance phase, heart rates go through the roof.


Dance is also great for improving coordination, with a big focus on moving through a wide range of planes and movement tempos.

There is plenty of time to learn each new move – BODYJAM™ choreography is simple and the instructor will coach style and direction – and motivate participants to perform at their best.

Best of all, BODYJAM™ will get you hooked on dance and the emotional high that comes from this unique form of self-expression.





I highly recommend this class to anyone who wants a great cardio class. I will be going again and loving every minute of it.

Tonight is Zumba and I am going to try Pilates with Dee (not sure about it) so we will see how I do.

9 Miles and Counting!

You guessed it yesterday was 9 miles down! A group of friends and I made it all the way around (need to work on the time) and it was hard work. The last 2 miles I had to have Dee talk me through it because once again that darn ankle is rearing its ugly head. I started off ok but my ankle was giving out right at 3 miles so I just kept going hoping it would stretch out but in the end it is so sore today. I am just going to have to baby it the rest of the week and not over do it.

Next week is 10 miles (WOW) and I am hoping I can do it without "whining" (ha)! Thanks to everyone who came out and walked it was a great time and well worth it.

This week will shape up to be fun Monday off, Tuesday trying something new call bodyjam (more on that later), Wednesday is Zumba and probably try Pilates with Dee, Thursday not sure yet and Friday off.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!


"Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction"
Al Bernstein

Understanding!

Last night I went out with some friends and we had dinner. Most of the people I am around are very supportive of my meal choices when we go out but last night I meet some new people (friends of friends). Dinner was going well until it came time for me to order (salad and fish) and one of the "ladies" in the group said why don't you get some real food? What? One of my friends explained that I am on a healthy lifestyle change and that I have lost 50 lbs etc. (and yes I am the only overweight person in my group of friends). Well that is when it started....this person went on to say well if you cannot enjoy yourself why bother? Now this is a person who might weigh 120 lbs and can eat and drink anything they want...so I was kind of taken aback by their words and not sure what to say.

As dinner progressed she was making comments about how wonderful her steak was and how great her potatoes were etc...and looking in my direction. Ok I can take a lot of stuff but being rude, for no reason except to be mean - is not acceptable to me. I really feel sorry for my friend she had to defend me and that is not what this journey is for. I started my life change for ME not anyone else! What I chose to eat or not eat is up to ME and no one else! So to anyone who just does not get it - get a life!

After the meal was over and everyone was leaving my friend came over to apologize about what had happened and I reassured her that she was not to blame and really no one is - this person obviously does not care about others and what they do or how they feel she is into herself and could care less what other people do.

I learned a lot at this dinner even though I know that other people’s opinion should not matter it really does hurt when someone says things to you without knowing the reason. I try and not be judgmental - who am I to judge you and what other people chose to do is their business and many should be commended on what they achieve (no matter how little or small it is). Life is to short and precious to hold these negative feelings - I think this falls under my self-esteem issues I know it should not matter what other people think or say but somehow it does.

Have any of you had this reaction before (from someone you hardly know) and how did you handle it?

A weak moment!

Many of us started our New Year resolutions for 2009 (I know I have) but I am sure even though it has only been a week since we have made these promises we have all broken a few!

During the course of the Holiday I feel back into some of my old habits (over eating, chocolate over haul and just not caring about exercise). Over the years a lot of my habits have been surrounded by food - I LOVE to eat out! I could eat out everyday 24 hours a day - in the past I would swing through McDonald's (even if I was not hungry) just because I wanted too. Last night I wanted to have fried chicken and I was determined after I was done at the gym I was going to swing by the local chicken place and get it.

After Zumba last night (LOVED it!) and talking with Dee for a while I got in my car and had every intention of going but as soon as I was headed right for the drive- thru something came over me - I decided I was not going to let my head get me in trouble anymore. I seem to listen to my head more than my heart and when I was thinking about all the calories I was about to ingest and how all the work I just did at the gym would be for nothing I headed home and ate my tuna and brown rice that was waiting for me and I can honestly say I am glad I did.

I feel as if I have turned a new corner and actually learned something about myself -I am strong and I CAN keep myself on track and just because I have a weak moment I can also have an enlightened one.

How have all of you been doing on your resolutions?

Should have listened!

On Monday night I gave blood (something I do often) and was told no exercise for 24 hours. On Tuesday I went to strive with Mom and let me tell you I should have listened more closely. My arm has been hurting since last night. I have never had this problem before and I am a little confused? I asked the nurse if I could go to the 5 pm class and she said that should be fine (I gave blood around 6 pm on Monday night close enough right?) but it was not! So for future reference listen!

Prayer request for my trainer Donna, her Mother passed away on Monday please say a special prayer for her and her family - they are in my thoughts.

Self-Esteem

I was reading the fitness tip of the day (at the right of my blog at the top); "Ultimately, I am what I choose to be; my self-esteem follows the same path." -Anonymous
BOY does this hit home for me - as posted as one of my 2009 goals I am working on my self-esteem and I am finding it quite the struggle. It seems to be a lot harder than being on my weight loss journey and a lot tougher than I every expected it would be.

Many people don't believe how shy and insecure I really am. A lot of people I know always say you are so confident; you are such an inspiration etc. If many of them really knew that I was just "playing" the role they would be shocked. When I gained that 322 lbs my self-esteem really went down and now that I have been on my way down on the scale I am finding it hard to receive the compliments and also see myself as everyone else does. I have this problem when people tell me how "hot" I look or how I have changed so much from the weight loss I just say stuff like - thanks but I am not happy or I don't see it or my favorite I have so much more to do and That is not what I see. And it is true - I still see myself as the 322 lb person that I have been for so long. Don't get me wrong I do notice some changes (bra size, losing a shoe size and pants size etc) but what I ultimately want to see I guess I am becoming inpatient. I need to really work on my self-esteem and enjoy who I am and not be so hard on myself (as I have posted before I am my worst enemy) and just enjoy this time in my life. I have accomplished so much and I have changed - I am a new person inside and out and I should be shouting it from the roof top that I am a different person than I was 8 months ago. This battle is going to be a hard one for me - my trainer has commented before about that (I get embarrassed if I have to do something in front of a group of people) that if I was alone in the gym I could accomplish so much more - and she is 100% right! I am to busy worrying about what everyone else is thinking instead of what I know I can do.

What do you guys do to improve your self-esteem?

8 Miles and counting!

8 miles are officially marked down and finished! Yeah I am so excited and also relieved to say that after last week (not feeling well afterwards) I can actually say I feel great today. I have really babied my ankle all week and also today I have iced it twice and keep stretching it out.

I walked with some friends today (I highly recommend a buddy for your walk) and I have to say without Dee that last 8 mile seemed like nothing! She is on the road to recovery and was such a trooper today I am very blessed to have her with me on this journey.

The rest of the week should shape up like last week (swimming Monday, Tuesday Strive, Zumba on Wednesday rest day on Thursday and Friday and Saturday is 3 miles and Sunday is 9 miles). I am well on my way and proud to say I am officially excited about what is to come!

New Year New Goals and New Resolutions!

Today is the first day I get back to the gym for the New Year - Like many of you I have set some resolutions for the New Year and today marks the first step for those goals.

At the gym tonight I am going to walk 3 miles, Saturday is 3 miles and Sunday is 8 miles (at the park) Mom said she would like to tag a long for the walk on Sunday so that will be nice. My friend Dee has been sick since the Monday before Christmas and has not been to the gym or walking since so she is on the road to recovery but still weak and is just not ready to jump back into her routines this week. I am hoping she will be able to walk with me next week when I work on 9 miles (yeah) she did remind me yesterday that it is only 80 days until the half marathon - WOW I am so excited and I am so going to be ready. After last weeks walk (7 miles) I have been so tired and I was beginning to worry that I would not be able to even do 8 this week but I have a new "fire" in my belly that says YES YOU CAN! So I am heading into the New Year with knowing that deep inside I will be able to accomplish my many goals I have set for myself.

My resolutions are more personal ones - more family and friend time and I am going to start volunteering with teen girls in the area (I enjoyed helping with Meals on Wheels over the Holidays that I also would like to give some more of time to that as well). I really think it is important to share your life experiences and also help influence the further leaders of our country.

Happy Friday!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone - I hope you have a wonderful day and have started on your own new journey for the new year.